Hidden, but Noticed
by Destiny JoRayne Adams
Summary: Hardison is forced to act in self-defense, and Eliot doesn't know what to do. Gen.


_**I believe that you can do something in an instant that can give you heartache for life.**_

Eliot doesn't know the exact moment when the job all went to hell, but it has.

"Hardison, how do I get to Parker?" He barks. Before Hardison can answer however, he sees the sign for the stairwell. He takes the stairs two at a time, desperate to get to Parker. The thief is good, but not when there are three-to-one odds, and that's not even counting weapons.

He finds his way to the correct office by simply following the noise and finds that Parker has one of the thugs laid out on the floor. He catches a glimpse of a stricken expression on Parker's face before he turns his attention to the other guards.

They were barely down for the count before Parker was grabbing his arm. "We have to go," and she is rushing them through the halls and out the fire exit. It isn't until they come around the corner to where Lucille is that Eliot realizes that his comm isn't working.

His world stops as he takes in Hardison sitting against the van, a puddle of vomit and a gun a few yards away. A body that Eliot can tell is dead is lying near a dumpster, and he sees Nate and Sophie are running toward Hardison, horror painting their expressions.

Eliot's mind is putting together the pieces even as he is running toward the van. Right now, there is no time to dwell on what happened as he yanks Hardison up and forces him into the van. He glances behind him to make sure Parker is following and that Nate and Sophie are taking the front. He shuts the door as Nate guns the van down the street.

The ride back to Nate's condo is silent, broken only by Hardison's soft gasps. Even Parker doesn't have anything to say, and Eliot doesn't miss the glances that Nate and Sophie keep exchanging. He keeps an hand on Hardison shoulder, half as a sign of support and half to make sure the hacker doesn't tilt over.

He doesn't know exactly what happened, but it's clear that Hardison had to take a step that never should have been taken. Not by Hardison, and the very thought is enough to make Eliot want to find a bottle and drown in it. It's not usually his M.O., but he doesn't know if he can handle this.

The minute the van stops behind McRory's, Hardison jumps out. "I'm, uh, going to go…" He doesn't finish, just heads to his car parked a few feet away. He used to drive Lucille everywhere, but recently he had started keeping the van at Nate's place and driving a small convertible, claiming it was easier to work the jobs.

Parker runs to him as he is climbing into the driver's seat. "You're not leaving, are you?" There is a note of fear in her voice, covered by desperation. "Everybody else has always left me, and now you're just going to leave too?"

Hardison stops. He stands there for a moment, his back to them before he slowly turns around and looks at the thief. "Parker, I'll be back, I promise. I just need some time alone." Before any of them respond, he climbs into his car.

"Hardison," Sophie starts, but the hacker doesn't stop. As he drives away, Sophie turns to Eliot. "Do something!"

But Eliot doesn't move. For the first time in a long time, he has no idea what to do.

Eliot is no stranger to regret. The majority of the actions he has taken in his life he regrets. He regrets that he let go of his family when he could have fought for them harder; he regrets that he went from a naïve kid in the army to a killer who didn't even flinch as he watched the light go out of somebody's eyes; he regrets falling in love with Aimee and then deserting her. He regrets all this and so much more.

He knows the feeling of deep agony over what he had done. He has felt it, has learned to bury it and move on.

But now he wonders if he can because he knows that it's his fault that Hardison went from an kid who knew too much about electronics and not enough about the real world to somebody who knew what it was like to take a human life.

It is his fault.

He still doesn't know exactly what happened. He hasn't talked to Hardison in a week and the others were decidedly tight-lipped about what they had heard over the comms. He had pressed for details, desperate to know what happened, but Nate had told him to go talk to Hardison.

He knows that he would give anything to go back in time because he never wanted Hardison—or any of the others—to lose that part of themselves.

Eliot knows that letting Hardison drive away the other week was a bad idea. He knows that time—though it will help in the long run—is not what Hardison needs right now. He needs to talk about it so he doesn't bury it, and Eliot needs to know what happened.

That that is how he has ended up standing in the hallway outside of Hardison's door. He is carrying a six pack in one hand and the other is raised to knock. He steels himself—heart-to-heart was never his specialty—and takes the plunge.

It takes a while, but Hardison finally opens that door a crack and peers out suspiciously. He relaxes slightly when he sees that it's Eliot, but still doesn't open the door.

"I thought I told you guys that I needed some time alone?" His voice is rusty from disuse.

Eliot pushes past Hardison and winkles his noise at the smell that covers the entire room. "You," he begins, "need a shower." _And food, _he adds mentally and immediate puts the beer in the fridge. Food first, drink later.

"Eliot…"

Eliot ignores him as he enters the kitchen and starts opening the cabinets and fridge in search for food. With the exception of the some frozen dinners, pizza and Orange Squeeze, there's nothing. He wonders what Hardison had been surviving on for the past couple of days until his gaze lands on scattered take-out containers that cover the living room.

He turns back to Hardison, who had yet to move from his post by the door. "You are going to take a shower," he orders, leaving no room for argument. "I'm going to go get some food." Without even waiting for a reply, he leaves and heads to the nearest organic store.

He buys food that he knows Hardison will eat, which isn't as easy as it may sound. Trying to get Hardison and Parker to eat something that will actually physically help them is practically impossible. But Eliot has learned some tricks throughout the years and tomato sauce always wins Hardison over. It can even be tomato sauce that is made from real tomatoes and not that processed crap; it's all in how Eliot seasons it and he knows how Hardison likes it.

Spaghetti is quick and simple. It's almost done by the time that Hardison emerges from the bedroom, dressed in sweats and a tee that has seen better days. His posture is tense and he doesn't look at Eliot, but the hitter catches a glimpse at the bags around his eyes as he takes a seat at the counter.

"Nightmares?" Eliot phrases it as a question even though it isn't.

Hardison doesn't respond; he doesn't even lift his head from where it's dropped between his arms.

Eliot doesn't try to fill the silence with talk, that has never been his thing. Most people don't recognize the value of silence, and he respects Hardison enough to give him that much.

He serves the spaghetti onto a plate and sets it in front of him. He riffles around the kitchen until he finds the cutlery drawer and hands him a fork. He dishes up a plate and seats himself across from Hardison and then keeps an eye on him without being obvious about it.

In the end, it probably wouldn't have matter if Eliot had alright gawked, Hardison never even lifted his head. He just pushes the food around on his plate without taking a single bite. Eliot finally sighs, and grabs the plate, wraps it and puts it in the fridge. "You can eat it for breakfast," he growls.

If Hardison has any complaints about eating supper for breakfast, he doesn't voice them. He just stands and grabs some Squeeze from the fridge. "I'm, uh…" It's the first words he's spoken since Eliot first arrived and he seems to be having trouble getting them past his lips. "I'm gonna head to bed, uh, feel free to let yourself out."

"I'm staying here." The words were out of his mouth before he even registers them. He mentally curses. Why in the world would he ever offer that? It isn't like Hardison was in danger or anything. Eliot doesn't retract the statement however, because the minute he says it, Hardison turns around so fast that it's a wonder he doesn't fall over.

"What? No!"

Eliot raises an eyebrow, still not certain about what he's doing, but hating to be challenged by Hardison. There is a competitive nature that exists between the two of them and Eliot isn't quite sure what it is, but he knows that it's always there, just beneath the surface. It shows itself only when Hardison confronts him and now is no exception.

"Eliot, I get what you're doing, man, and I appreciate it, but I'm fine," Hardison says.

Eliot does even dignify that with an response, just stares at Hardison until he breaks. "Fine, whatever, I don't care. But you're sleeping on the couch." He walks into his room and slams the door hard enough to shake the doorframe.

Eliot has to wake Hardison from nightmares twice during the night and every single time something inside of him clenches until it's so tight he feels like he can't breathe. He has no idea when this group of people managed to worm their way into his life, but they have and the thought of one of them going through even just a bit that he's been through is almost more than he can stand.

Neither of them mention the dreams in the morning, but Hardison eats the spaghetti with no complaint and Eliot counts that as a victory.

He throws the dishes in a dishwasher—a contraption that he never uses at home, but there are more important things to do now—and hustles Hardison away from the table. "Get ready to go."

"What? I'm not going anywhere." Hardison says.

Eliot sighs. Of course it isn't going to be that easy. "Hardison, sitting around here all day and playing your stupid video games isn't going to help anything."

Eliot knows he said that wrong thing when Hardison's face closes off and he turns back toward his bedroom. "Just leave me alone, Eliot."

And just like that, Eliot is done. He's done tiptoeing around Hardison. There is no way he's going to leave Hardison to wallow in his own self-pity. He reaches out and snags Hardison arm, not painful but firm. He looks Hardison in the eye, "We're going to Nate's."

Hardison looks as if he's going to argue, but he must have realized that this is one argument he's not going to win because he finally nods and shuffles to his room to get dressed.

It's not magically over. The hacker is more quiet than what he used to be and he spends less time complaining and more time working. At one time, Eliot had wished for this to happen, now he's just saddened that it has.

Parker helps a lot. She knows that something is wrong and helps in her own way. She starts bringing Hardison more fortune cookies than he could ever eat, a stuffed bunny that's seen better days and a diamond that she stole in the Netherlands.

When she hands him the diamond, she says "It's not worth much, Hardison, but it's really sparkly. I thought that you might like it." She hides her uncertainty well, but Hardison picks up on it. He smiles briefly.

"Thanks, Park."

Nate is more careful than what he was; still reckless, but recklessly careful. He makes sure that Hardison checks all the electronic equipment before every job, especially the comms.

Sophie does the typical female mother-hen routine. She makes sure the Hardison eats when he's at Nate's and badgers him about how much sleep he's getting especially when he starts showing up with bags under his eyes and weariness showing in every movement he makes.

And Eliot does his job. He protects. He tracks down the name of the man that Hardison shot and makes sure that there will be no one coming around and asking questions. He keeps a closer eye of Hardison's condo, and makes sure that his guard doesn't come down this time.

He pries the details of what happened from the hacker. How the man had made him and forced him to get out of the van. Hardison tells him about the fight that happened as they fought for control of the gun. Another time, Eliot would have been proud of how Hardison handled himself, but not now. Hardison's voice had cracked when he told how the gun had gone off. He doesn't make Hardison continue, as there was nothing left to say.

He begins to spend a lot of his nights at Hardison's. When Nate asks, he says that it's because Hardison needs to eat actual food and if Eliot isn't there to make sure it happens, it won't. Nate looks at him and Eliot knows he doesn't buy it, but he doesn't say anything.

The real reason is the fact that Hardison has confessed, in low tones that he stills sees the man's face in his dreams and he is accompanied by his wife and two small kids. Eliot doesn't comment on the fact that Hardison obviously researched the man, probably in the middle of one of those nights that he couldn't sleep.

Eliot doesn't launch into some spiel about how it will get better, and all you need is time because he knows that it's not true anyway. Instead, he begins showing up at Hardison's late at night, bearing a six pack so he would have an excuse to stay on the couch.

Hardison never comments, but Eliot notices that side glances that gets thrown his way, a small smile hidden, but noticed. It's in those moments that Eliot knows that the hacker was going to make it.

Even as he realizes that, he makes a silent vow that this will never happen again.

Not on his watch.


End file.
